Anaesthesia

Sludge-Queen Anaesthesia is a boggrout from – and also, the ruler of – planet Gunkmire.

As the malevolent and tyrannical ruler of her planet and all its domain, she rules from her perch, the Putrid Throne, in the ancient halls of the Silt Palace, her ancestral keep, with an oozing, iron fist, gazing down on the tired, the hungry, and the downtrodden with malicious intent. She controls Gunkmire in its entirety, and has become very rich off its vast supplies of oil – all whilst her people starve and work themselves to death, doomed to a never-ending age of darkness.

Physical appearance

You can say what you like about Anaesthesia’s physical appearance. She thinks she’s beautiful and radiant, and there is nobody can convince her otherwise. She spends unhealthy amounts of time gazing longingly into the mirror, obsessing over her looks, and every long hall of the Silt Palace is decorated with expensive oil paintings of her royal mug. Whilst she happily revels in her own looks, she takes great pleasure in insulting other women about theirs. Her favourite target is Pestidia, whom she calls ‘ugly’ and ‘fat’.

Though she is desperate for a husband, she does not yet have one. No man has ever offered his hand, and she blames men themselves and their craven ways for this. After all, what man could resist? She has awarded herself the name ‘Queen of Broken Hearts’ in honour of all the hearts she would destroy, if only she had the chance.

Personality

Anaesthesia is well-known for her deceptive ways. She’s called the ‘Lady of Lies’, a title she wears like a badge of honour. She lies to everyone, weaving elaborate webs of misdirection so that nobody, not even Pestidia, can begin to unpick the truth. Anaesthesia likes to hold all the cards and pull all the strings, and her favourite way of ensuring she does both is to lie to everybody in her royal court about everything. No matter how big or small something is, Anaesthesia will lie about it.

Devouring no fewer than twenty meals a day, she spends her hours scarfing down everything from exotic meats to towering puddings covered in lashings of syrup and toffee. There’s nearly nothing she won’t eat, except her vegetables. She’ll try everything at least once, loving to ‘sample’ foods from across the galaxy, though she’ll always go in for thirds at the very least. As if these twenty, multiple course meals weren’t enough to sate her greedy appetite, she washes it all down with gravy downed straight from the chalice, before filling up on brandy to ease her passing into sleep.

She’s notorious for her temper. She loves to abuse Pestidia, her loyal advisor and right-hand, throwing pots and goblets when she cannot have the things she wants, when she wants them, and she adores smugly dishing out punishments on a whim. She enjoys nothing more than death, and apportioning cruel sentences to those who upset or deny her. Nothing makes her angrier than being hungry. As her staff cannot possibly know when her slumber will be interrupted by her cravings, the palace kitchens must be in round-the-clock operation.

As a rule, Anaesthesia cares for no one but herself. Silt Palace staff are expected to attend to her needs, and hers alone, at all times. Mealtimes are sacred, and she expects all hands on deck to ensure that they go without a hitch. None may eat in her presence, nor look her in the eye; they may only watch solemnly as she works her way through each course (except for Bromós and the kitchen staff, who have her permission to begin preparing her next meal), knowing that there will not be a single scrap of food left over for them.

Skills and abilities

Anaesthesia’s sister may have got the looks (in as much a way as any boggrout can), but it was Anaesthesia herself who got the brains. She’s a master manipulator, and she knows how to turn nearly any situation to her advantage. Many rulers lost their planets when the great empires came knocking, but not Anaesthesia, who can now happily gloat that she has Cassiopeia, empress of the Orion Corporation herself, wrapped around her little green finger. When the Sludge-Queen puts her mind to something, victory and domination are inevitable.

Equipment and possessions

The Sludge-Queens and Kings of planet Gunkmire have formally decreed themselves owners by birthright of their great stinking ball of rock, and no one really cared to argue until vast seas of oil were found beneath its bubbling, festering surface. Gunkmire and its domains (well, moons) are the personal property of the Sludge-Queen. Anaesthesia’s personal home and seat of government is the Silt Palace, a mighty and imposing fortress built upon a great cliff of sulphur and overlooking the nearby village of Grott’s Gate. It has been in Anaesthesia’s family for generations, housing Sludge-Queens and Kings as far back as the legendary One-Eyed Glaucoma.

The most prized artefact of Gunkmire royalty is the Dominion Crown. When not otherwise occupied by knife and fork, the Sludge-Queen’s hands can also be typically seen carrying her orb and sceptre – two priceless artefacts from Gunkmire’s long history.