Mr Evil

Mr Evil is a fluffpuff from the planet Brunsun, where he operates as a businessman and gangster.

As the self-appointed ‘evillest man in the galaxy’, Mr Evil is a notorious crook, conman and loan-shark working hard to make life worse for the good people of lawless Burner Town – the grimmest, most dangerous borough of Brunsun’s infamous ‘gutter district’, the city-planet’s deepest, darkest level. As a world without daylight, Brunsun makes the perfect playground for a criminal like Mr Evil. Very few police are willing to risk their lives patrolling Burner Town, and Mr Evil’s got the few who dare to do so in his pocket.

A try-hard, wannabe supervillain of the highest order, Mr Evil has dedicated his very existence to evil itself, in every conceivable way. Whether it’s offering an evil biscuit from the evil cookie jar, sipping evil tea from the evil kitty mug, preparing himself an evil sandwich with evil between every slice, or just taking an evil nap in his evil, twin-size bed, absolutely everything that Mr Evil does is evil.

Physical appearance

Fluffpuffs are tiny, bipedal hamster-like creatures, but sentient. Mr Evil may be the most evil man in the galaxy, but even he is no exception. As with all fluffpuffs, he is short and extremely fluffy, with bushy white cheeks and a squat, fat body. He’s only a few inches tall, so he normally has to sit on top of a stack of cushions to make himself bigger. His fur is entirely white, and it’s particularly prominent around his cheeks, eyebrows and beard. His eyes are red, and his teeth are yellowing and crooked.

He likes to wear pinstripe suit jackets, bowler hats and bowties, but his most common outfit is his brown waistcoat and red tie. His outfits are often accompanied by a monocle, which us uses to closely inspect money and whatever other riches come his way, and he’s nearly always seen chomping on one of his massive cigars, which look positively enormous in his tiny hamster-sized hands.

Personality

Proudly styling himself as the ‘evillest man in the galaxy’, Mr Evil claims to be Brunsun’s most maniacal and diabolical businessman. Sitting in his chair atop a stack of cushions, there’s nothing Mr Evil loves more than barking out orders for beatings and hits. He fancies himself as a mob-esque godfather figure, overseeing all the crime and villainy with which Burner Town is rife. He takes pleasure in the suffering of others, particularly in the loan-sharking game. Where better to indulge than in the dreary, gaslit sprawl of working-class Burner Town?

Mr Evil is incredibly cruel and selfish, and notoriously tight-fisted with his money (except when he’s loaning it out at predatory interest rates to people with no means of repayment). He lives in a grim, delapidated townhouse in the roughest part of Burner Town, and his several businesses are no better, all operating out of the bleakest, seediest, and most dangerous parts of town. He employs only one permanent member of staff: Perkins, who handles about twelve different jobs for the pay of one (if Mr Evil pays him at all).

As a businessman, Mr Evil understands the importance of brand. He loves to wave his name around so that all will know and fear it. He likes custom embroidery, and owns many accessories with his name on them. His favourite – which he is rarely seen without – is his red, hand-knitted necktie. He hands out business cards with his name and self-appointed titles on them, and his name can be found in fact on almost all of his personal effects and accessories, from his cigar case to the inner patchwork of his waistcoat.

Obsessive-compulsive about his favourite number, six hundred and sixty-six, Mr Evil will take any opportunity to use it. Whether it’s ordering stock for Evil & Sons in batches of six hundred and sixty-six, adding six hundred and sixty-six connections on his social networking profiles, demanding to be allowed to stay in room six hundred and sixty-six at every hotel he visits, or lying about being six hundred and sixty-six years old, he will use his favourite number no matter how unlikely it sounds.

Despite dreaming of power and conquest, Mr Evil is a sucker for simple pleasures and comforts. At the end of a long day he loves to relax in his armchair throne with a warm, evil cup of tea and a tray of evil biscuits. When in the mood to treat himself, he forgoes his evil bedtime shower for a quick, cosy nap in a nice, hot bath. He loves cats, and in addition to his evil kitty mug he also owns an impressive collection of jumpers, all with cats on them. His own beloved cat, Sir Luftwaffe, is his pride and joy.

Skills and abilities

In his heyday, Mr Evil was involved in boxing within the ultra-featherweight division, but he never had a great amount of luck in the ring, being so weak and afraid of getting hit. His true calling was as a manager. Many heavyweight champions were made under his management, and that made Mr Evil very rich. He’s completely retired from boxing himself now, but he still manages his henchman, Gurt, and runs a successful (if not entirely ‘above board’) promotion from his bar in Burner Town.